[Daughter]: I'm going to be featured in a drama showcase in May!
Me: You mean people are coming to our house to watch that thing you do every morning when you get up late and then fly into a tearful, shouting arm-waving panic because you're going to be late and your parents are ruining your life because we make you eat breakfast anyway?
[Daughter]: ... No. I'm going to do a scene and sing a couple of songs.
Me: Well, get up on stage on time and don't sing with your mouth full.