Sunday, July 23, 2017

Wizarding Wants (Neeeeeeeeeedds!)

Folks, I will begin by saying that this post is both SUPER, SOOOOOPER-LONG, and also not what I usually write.

It’s not an essay.  It’s not a diatribe or a semi-amusing musing about a thing or a happening, or my emotions. It is a SUPER-LONG LIST of Harry Potter items on Etsy, because I love me some Harry Potter and this $#!+ is Teh AWESOME!

I haven’t ever given two [insert plural rude noun here] about  Etsy.  BUT, I wrote a piece about Harry Potter a while ago, and then I re-re-re-reread the Illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and I found a link to a Harry Potter painting on Etsy, and then I went down the rabbit hole.

Way, waaaaaaaaaay down the rabbit hole.

When one types “Harry Potter” into the search field in Etsy, one gets TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY pages of Harry Potter items - I’mma guess just about ALL of them unlicensed and essentially stealing revenue from Jo Rowling.

A lot of the stuff is crap.  Some of it is good.  The rest of it is brilliant.  My home is decorated with Scottish stuff and comic book stuff, and tons and tons of pictures of my family and friends.

I could decorate an ENTIRE OTHER HOUSE* with Harry Potter stuff.
*my wife decorates.  She’s TOTALLY better at it than I am.  Also, I don’t have another house, so I can’t decorate it with Harry Potter stuffs.

What follows is seventy-three pages of THE BEST HARRY POTTER STUFF from those two hundred and fifty Etsy pages.  I scrolled and clicked last night until my eyes bled.  I am now typing by feel, so I trly hope this comes out all riofht.

*** DISCLAIMERS: because some people just . . . need them ***

  • These are the things I chose as THE BEST examples of . . . whatever they are. I didn't buy these things. I haven't held them. I didn't talk to their creators. I'm not getting paid in any way for talking about / linking to them.  These are just the items that I really liked or thought were the best of their kind among the 250 pages of Etsy Harry Potter Merch Mania. Most of it is welcome to come live with me in my mythical Harry Potter house, which I do not have because sadly it does not exist.
  • I really, really like the Harry Potter book series.  These Etsy picks reflect both my love of the books and my not giving two craps about the movies.
  • If it’s not your preferred Hogwarts House, take a look to see if the seller has the same item with a different House.  DO THIS!
  • Seriously, don’t complain to me about an item or a seller.  Or, if the links go bad next month or next year.  It’s totally not my fault.  Or yours.  Mourn the broken links quietly to yourself, hold a little ceremony, and then move on without notifying me.  If it makes you feel better, make a headstone from a white stone on which you can magically engrave, “HERE LIES , A FREE HYPERLINK.”

Here we go: I put a bunch of stuff in kind of similar categories.

Wands:  There’s about ten wandmakers per Etsy page, at 250 pages, so . . . 2500 wandmakers?  Hard to tell because so many items repeat.  I am SURE that many of these wandmakers are a good fit for some people,  but ONLY ONE wandmaker has the Ian Seal of Hell Yes Let  Me Buy That Please:

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Dude’s wands are excellent, imaginative, NOT stupidly expensive, and very very very well done.  He probably charges too little.  Also, if you tell him the wand that chose you on Pottermore (mine is Sycamore, Unicorn Core, twelve inches, quite bendy), he will make you that wand.  So, he’s totally the only wandmaker going on this list.
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If you need an Ollivander’s Box to go with your wand, you can go here: MakariosWandShop.  I’m not a fan of their wands, but they DO have Ollivander’s Wand Boxes.

There are TWO people making wand STANDS that I can recommend:
Hauptwood, which makes beautiful wand stands that look like this:
(with or without a Lion/Badger/Snake/Raven);
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and DragonAlleyWands, which makes excellent wand stands like these:
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Home Decor:

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Ministry of Magic TOILET DECAL!!!   I AM SO EXCITED BY THIS I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU GUYS! -- Ian
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Wearables (human and canine):
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Glassware, and other stuff related to eating and drinking:
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Decals:
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Bags and Backpacks:

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Letters and Certificates:
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Everything Else:
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