Monday, April 15, 2013

Baseball is Not a Coy Game

[Wife] on the Oakland Athletics scoring six runs off the Houston Astros in the bottom of the FIRST INNING:
"No way!  You can't just give it all up like that in the first inning - that's not professional baseball!  You can't just give it up like that, like a drunken coke whore at a bachelor party! 
At least be like the friendly debutante after the ball - put up a good fight, let the other team spend time on the other bases for a while, then give it all up in the late innings - THAT I get. 
But the FIRST INNING?!  You haven't even seen all nine guys yet!  Have some self-respect, Astros."

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Pet Calendar

On April 14th my Oakland Athletics are hosting the Detroit Tigers and having their yearly Pet Calendar and Pet Adoption Day.  Sure, it SOUNDS harmless enough, but I have mixed feelings. 
I often used to participate in this day, but it always led to heartbreak.
I LOVED my last pet calendar, but sadly it expired just one year after I adopted it. 
Every day after I took it for a walk, it looked a little more tired and ragged.  As each month passed, my pet calendar got thinner and thinner. 
Finally I could see the writing on the wall. 
...But I suppose I should have known: every pet calendar's days are numbered.

This economy is just nuts

Saddest economic indicator at the grocery store today.

Cashew Halves being promoted with bright signs at the middle of the shelf.

On the bottom shelf of the end cap: Cashew Halve nots.