Monday, April 15, 2013
[Wife] on the Oakland Athletics scoring six runs off the Houston Astros in the bottom of the FIRST INNING:
"No way! You can't just give it all up like that in the first inning - that's not professional baseball! You can't just give it up like that, like a drunken coke whore at a bachelor party!
At least be like the friendly debutante after the ball - put up a good fight, let the other team spend time on the other bases for a while, then give it all up in the late innings - THAT I get.
But the FIRST INNING?! You haven't even seen all nine guys yet! Have some self-respect, Astros."
Saturday, April 6, 2013
On April 14th my Oakland Athletics are hosting the Detroit Tigers and having their yearly Pet Calendar and Pet Adoption Day. Sure, it SOUNDS harmless enough, but I have mixed feelings.
I often used to participate in this day, but it always led to heartbreak.
I LOVED my last pet calendar, but sadly it expired just one year after I adopted it.
Every day after I took it for a walk, it looked a little more tired and ragged. As each month passed, my pet calendar got thinner and thinner.
Finally I could see the writing on the wall.
...But I suppose I should have known: every pet calendar's days are numbered.