Sunday, September 13, 2015

I am TOTALLY STEALING Everything in This Post

Comic book fan or not, this is seriously worth reading. I am already a gigantic fan of Kelly Sue DeConnick and her husband Matt Fraction, each of whom are amazing writers.

The following is lifted directly from The Mary Sue article, and it is my own personal takeaway:

"Speaking about her wildly-successful new comic for Image, Bitch Planet, and its catch phrase from which this panel got its name, DeConnick said that “in the world of Bitch Planet, the people who are labeled ‘non-compliant’ have been marginalized and criminalized for being who they are. I can’t speak to the people who have the label or the symbol in real life, because I’m certain their reasons are as varied as they are,” she clarified. “But what I think the statement they’re making is, I am a person who does not fit the box assigned to me. I am too tall or to short or too fat or too black or brown or too indigenous or too atheist or too slutty or too frumpy or too gay or too whatever the fuck it is my culture is going to judge me for today, and I refuse to see myself through your eyes. I refuse to see myself as imperfect because of that. And you will support me or you will get the fuck off.”

And there were many cheers.

When asked by moderator Patrick Reed if they intentionally write comics to inspire social change, DeConnick laughed. “I don’t actually set out to write political pamphlets. I’m always writing story first, and even before that I’m always writing character first – everything is born of character,” she said. “But I think that I have some very strong feelings about some things; in particular, ideas of fairness and justice. And it turns out that melds beautifully with the concepts of feminism, since they’re the same fucking thing.” "

WORD. Goodnight, Folks!

My Loyal Tweeps

Wife: You ready to go run errands with me?

Me: Yes, I'm just sending out this tweet to my adoring fans, and then I'll be ready.

Wife: Your fans?

Me: They're a very vocal subsection of an offshoot of a thriving under-served minority demographic.

Wife: What demographic is that?

Me: People who read what I write. I'm looking at you, @TillamookCheese!
(picture gleefully thieved from

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Spicing Up my Marriage Again

Me: Sitting quietly, reading. Have twice in my life crafted something edible in a kitchen.

Wife: Of Italian Heritage, creates amazing delicious things in the kitchen. Also makes recipe variants for her husband with the Scottish taste buds.

Wife: I am roasting potatoes for you guys, because you all like them. What kind of spices would you like in them?

Me: (blank stare).

Wife (louder and slower): What kind of spices would you like?

Me: I understood the question, I just don't know what to do with it.

Wife: Well, I put Rosemary in the potatoes last time and you didn't eat them.

Me: Ah! I recognize Rosemary! It's associated with that unpleasant taste I find when I bite into something I think is going to be delicious and then I have to find a discreet way to spit it out. You also buy those excellent crackers that have been ruined by Rosemary. Yes! Please don't add that. I also recognize salt and pepper, because they are the spices I use. ...They are spices, correct?

Wife (Shoulders slumped, head bowed, hand over her eyes): Yes, salt and pepper do - barely - qualify as spices.

Me: I also totally recognize Nutmeg and Cinnamon. Please don't put those in the potatoes. Is butter a spice?

Wife (not moving, hand still over eyes): No.

Me: Okay. I'm probably still gonna use some. Also, Bacon. Let's just call bacon a spice for now, and I'm pretty sure we're good. I won't call cheese a spice, but it's gonna happen, too. Also sour cream if we have any. I'll look in the fridge.

Wife (not moving, hand still over eyes): Thanks for the help. I've got it from here.

Note: Now that I am writing this, I think it's important to point out that I also recognize Parsley, Sage, and Thyme from Simon and Garfunkel's song Scarborough Fair. I can even tell you what Parsley tastes like, because I have (regretfully) eaten it when it was the last thing on my plate after the hamburger and fries had been consumed.

Also, I recognize Cardamom is a spice, but every time I hear it mentioned I think it is something a clerk does when an older woman buys liquor. For example, The Spice Girls!

And everybody knows Variety is the spice of life, so I probably should have asked Wife to add it to the potatoes.

Also, every coffee shop ever thinks Pumpkin is a spice every autumn, and there is a blacked-out Spice Channel on my TV because we do not pay for it.

And, I found this picture of some spices!