[Daughter], foraging in pantry: What's in these crackers?
Me: Ants. And butter and wheat. But mostly ants. It's what makes them crunchy.
(silence, while [Daughter] looks at me with her best dead-eye expression)
[Daughter]: Mom, what's in these crackers?
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I like comments. I'm like E.T. and Reese's Pieces with them. Don't leave me a monkey turd instead of a Reese's Piece.